Well... she's also out of premium membership for the first time in several years because, er, she forgot to renew it and now she's buying history books she hasn't read.

Right now.... isn't too bad. I don't really feel like talking to anyone apart from the occasional comment or conversation with a teacher. I've somehow picked up a few friends or acquaintances recently, but mostly I'm just ignoring the whole social side of school and having fun learning stuff. I ghost around all day (hence the title) looking for quiet places and empty classrooms. The problem of friends getting in the way of work time has been solved by not making new ones, or making an effort to hang out with whomever I do happen to meet. I'm still trying to convince one of my history of art teachers that someone does actually want to learn his subject. I might be succeeding. I got 15/15 on my half term homework, which I'm happy about. Um. Yeah, and my report was good. I still feel like I'm not doing enough, though. I'm behind on my clarinet, my reading, any revision whatsoever, english AS coursework rewriting, university research (although I have FINALLY drafted a personal statement that doesn't anger me) and... oh, I don't know, probably a few homeworks here and there. I've got an alright system going at the moment, though, by which I do the homeworks in the order I get them. The timetable only has one week on it, so it works out.

As I mentioned above, I have.... let me count... about fourteen books to read on my bed at the moment. I'm finding it very difficult to find the time to read any of them, though. I spend too much time watching youtube. When not doing that, I try to make myself practice my clarinet because I'm still pretty shit at my pieces and my exam's in, what, two or three weeks? Also trying to cram some sort of understanding of music theory. I looked at that when I got home and I updated the few things I added to my personal statement, emailed the draft to my personal tutor (or tried; turns out my email keeps getting rejected).... and then watched youtube. Now it's nine. What happened to the time? I still haven't done clarinet, then I was going to do reading, or english AS coursework, or uni research... But then I'll be behind on my youtube. Sigh.... I really do need to get some reading done. I don't know if I'll do any of those things I said. I might put off English until tomorrow and just look at UCAS courses, practice clarinet and read. Who knows.

I'm surprised that I managed to get a personal statement draft done that I'm relatively happy with. I was feeling sad about the devaluation of higher education and how it's reflected in the university application system. So far, I've managed to go onto a tangent comparing Stalin and Augustus, another one about the Croatian holiday, a bit about the classics room at benenden and its cool books... I haven't been able to put most of my classics books I bought in because I haven't managed to read them yet >< I mentioned a few, though. I also talked about the podcast that got me into it, highlighted favourite sections, etc. What makes me feel better is that mostly I just wrote this and ignored the checklist of stuff you're supposed to include. It got in there anyway, but the writing sound like me instead of that horrible falseness one normally gets in such documents (personal statements and CVs).

I picked up a book on Greek architecture today. I finally wandered around the Classics 'department' (classroom), grumbling at the entirety of the Roman occupation period of Greece being labelled the 'Byzantine' part of the timeline on a poster and looking at the collection of books. There was another very old one with an essay on Rome in the back (given that it's part of the title it was a very short section of the book) but I didn't take it because I didn't have room in my bag and I didn't want to damage a book I'd never completely read.

In other subjects... there's a new history of art student and I keep ending up taking the lead in our group of me, the thai student and her, who just started. Then when we get asked to say what we came up with they expect me to say and I don't want to take all the credit, even though I usually spend the time explaining to the new student so they know who came up with what.... I don't know. I like explaining, but I get bored if it's always to the same person.

I finally got to talk to my personal tutor/English teacher about fixing my AS coursework. She pointed out how restricting the titles were (my coursework essay title was pretty much just asking me to describe, not analyse and the other one is just weird) and reworked the ideas with me so that it'd be a much better essay. There were lots of things I had to gloss over because they weren't relevant to the essay title, though much more interesting. My memory of the texts is pretty bad, though. More books to read... I also got my long-delayed first report, which was good.

One of my primary school best friends contacted me a couple of days ago over Facebook. The contrast in the ways we write is huge, but her current self seems pretty nice. Studying maths, I hear.

Um. Yes. Thoughts. I kinda miss talking to people. I definitely miss particular people. Everything's drifting apart from how things were before. It's odd to watch it happen.